Life with Autism is not something I chose - it was given to me by God, Universe, or just simply by the fact that my son, Will, was born with it. I struggle with Autism every single day and it breaks my heart because I see Will's struggles and unable to do anything about them. I try to be positive all the time and focus on how much he has grown and all the possibilities ahead, but, the reality is still with us every day, and Autism is my pain that never, ever goes away. It gets better at times, but it never goes away completely.
Some of us, however, chose to share a life with Autism. It's not an easy life, it has a lot of challenges and hassles that typical families never experience. For example, Will is going to be 6 next week, and we are still working on farm animals sounds: Will can identify a cow and that it makes a 'moooo' sound, and that's an achievement for us. Will can ride a 16-inch wheel bike by himself, with training wheels, and that's an achievement for us. Will can hold a pen and make horizontal and vertical lines, 4-5 in a row, and that's an achievement for us. Will can focus his attention for more than 30 seconds, and that's an achievement for us.
Ed, my husband and Will's stepfather, and I are a team, and it's Will's potential and possibilities that keep us going. While I am often afraid of Will's failures because I view them as my own, Ed is not afraid of them. He says that when he looks at Will, he sees a boy with a big heart and lots of potential vs. an Autistic boy. Ed is often the one who pushes Will to new things, while I stand behind and worry and pray that Will doesn't fail.
It's a tough balance between protecting Will from getting hurt emotionally or physically and letting him grow. Any mother would have this issue, especially when it comes to your special needs child. And, when fall into the overprotective mommy mode, Ed steps in and takes over for a bit as I move to the side and watch.
I do recognize that as a mother, I am overprotective... I just can't help it. Ed is famous around here for telling me "Let him be a boy!" when it comes to Will. As a father of a typical 12-year-old boy, Ed is often the one who is able to give me that reality check that not every single "wrong" thing that Will does is because of Autism -- a lot of it is just Will being a boy... silly, mischievous, slightly devious, calculating, and funny. My boy.
The reality is that I will never stop being overprotective - that's just one character flaw, perhaps, that is part of my DNA. But, it's an incredible, comforting feeling when you know that when you are way overboard, someone you trust can step in, take over, and do what's best for your child. And for that, I am forever grateful.
Some of us, however, chose to share a life with Autism. It's not an easy life, it has a lot of challenges and hassles that typical families never experience. For example, Will is going to be 6 next week, and we are still working on farm animals sounds: Will can identify a cow and that it makes a 'moooo' sound, and that's an achievement for us. Will can ride a 16-inch wheel bike by himself, with training wheels, and that's an achievement for us. Will can hold a pen and make horizontal and vertical lines, 4-5 in a row, and that's an achievement for us. Will can focus his attention for more than 30 seconds, and that's an achievement for us.
Ed, my husband and Will's stepfather, and I are a team, and it's Will's potential and possibilities that keep us going. While I am often afraid of Will's failures because I view them as my own, Ed is not afraid of them. He says that when he looks at Will, he sees a boy with a big heart and lots of potential vs. an Autistic boy. Ed is often the one who pushes Will to new things, while I stand behind and worry and pray that Will doesn't fail.
It's a tough balance between protecting Will from getting hurt emotionally or physically and letting him grow. Any mother would have this issue, especially when it comes to your special needs child. And, when fall into the overprotective mommy mode, Ed steps in and takes over for a bit as I move to the side and watch.
I do recognize that as a mother, I am overprotective... I just can't help it. Ed is famous around here for telling me "Let him be a boy!" when it comes to Will. As a father of a typical 12-year-old boy, Ed is often the one who is able to give me that reality check that not every single "wrong" thing that Will does is because of Autism -- a lot of it is just Will being a boy... silly, mischievous, slightly devious, calculating, and funny. My boy.
The reality is that I will never stop being overprotective - that's just one character flaw, perhaps, that is part of my DNA. But, it's an incredible, comforting feeling when you know that when you are way overboard, someone you trust can step in, take over, and do what's best for your child. And for that, I am forever grateful.
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